'A FOUR PERCENT PROBABILITY'



Author: Daenar (daenarchurill@yahoo.de)
Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount Pictures. No copyright infringement intended.

Category: Vignette, Romance (H/M), episode follow-up
Rating: 10+

Spoilers: Everything up to and including 'The Four Percent Solution' (YAY!!!)
Summary: Mattie Grace finds she's right with the picture she's gotten of her ex guardian - and yet not...

Author's notes: Just a little something to follow up this Hallmark episode. Or, to cite my dear friend AeroGirl, we simply can't "let such a significant episode go without comment." So...

Many thanks to Heather for betaing - as always! All remaining mistakes are mine.


**********


Dec. 26, 2004
1732 Local
In front of Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.



"The machine picked up. He isn't home."

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Tom Johnson asked his daughter with a smile as he stopped the car in front of the commander's apartment building that had once been her home, too. "Half an hour enough to pick up your stuff?"

"Sure," Mattie nodded, putting her cell phone away and opening the car door. "There isn't very much that's still stored here, small things mostly that should go into the suitcases I brought. And once they're gone, I can let Harm have his key back, too." She gave her father a lopsided grin. "Not that I mind having this little link to him, but it's one less responsibility. One less thing I might just lose somewhere."

Tom patted her on the back. "I know what you're talking about. Maybe you're my daughter after all. Get going, kiddo. I'll be back as soon as I've got all the stuff we need from the mall, okay?"

Mattie opened the trunk and pulled out two empty suitcases. Then she returned to the driver's side, bent her head back and looked up at the dark windows on the first floor. The faintest shimmer of light told her Harm had only left his desk lamp on before going out, something she had often seen him doing when she had still lived in the building. "I hope he really isn't there," she stated thoughtfully. "He told me he wanted to go see Commander Turner today and have dinner with him and his girlfriend. But I wouldn't be surprised, either, if he's working on some extra case, just to get his thoughts off the holidays." 

"Hey, don't hold yourself responsible for that," Tom admonished. "He's probably been that way forever. I doubt your leaving causes him any new difficulties when it comes to Christmas."

Mattie felt she wasn't too sure about that, but she didn't want to start a debate on the topic. "Whatever you say," she replied lightly, "See ya in 30." With that she closed the car door, watched Tom drive off and then crossed the road and entered the building.

Slowly climbing the stairs, Mattie sensed a by now familiar feeling of slight guilt creep up inside her. She was supposed to see Harm on the 29th, when he had promised he would come over to fly if the weather held up. She knew he would have liked to have her around for Christmas - he had told her that much himself a few weeks ago, not really counting on her to accept. A little reluctantly, she had told him that she and Tom wanted to spend the holidays by themselves to have time to catch up on all the Christmases they hadn't really celebrated. Of course, Harm had understood, but Mattie couldn't chase the feeling that without her around, Harm just wanted to get it over with, Christmas parties with his colleagues and friends notwithstanding.

The reason she and Tom had driven to D.C. today was that Tom had noticed he needed a few things he couldn't buy anywhere near Blacksburg on a Sunday two days after Christmas Eve. Mattie had thought about calling Harm to tell him they would be in town, but she had felt uncomfortable about it. She had noticed that somehow, she still needed to prove to him - and to herself - that returning to her father had indeed been the right decision. If that was the case, what kind of impression would it make if she asked Harm to leave her alone for Christmas and then dropped by herself? Mattie shook her head at the thought. Much as she would have loved to see him, she needed to avoid him right now, for the sake of his and her peace of mind concerning their new situation.

However, there were still a few things she had stored at Harm's because she hadn't gotten round to collecting them yet. And Mattie knew that her schedule for the next few weeks, re-organizing Grace Aviation aside from school, wouldn't allow her the time for a trip to D.C. She couldn't ask Harm to bring the items over, either - her things were stored along with some of Jen's that her flatmate hadn't been able to fit into her new place. Sorting them out would require female expertise. All in all - today's opportunity to go get them had presented itself and they had decided to seize it. Harm would most probably have left by the time they stopped by.

Tom had taken her to a nice restaurant for lunch, and they had played tourists for a while, to give Harm the time to leave. Finally Mattie had called him at home, and when the machine picked up she felt it was safe to launch a quick in-and-out mission. She would leave him a message on the kitchen counter.

Feeling like a thief at night, intruding his apartment like this, Mattie told herself to suck it up, put down the empty suitcases and reached for her key. No ray of light shone out from under the door, another sure sign that he wasn't home. 

And yet - when Mattie's hand was a mere ten inches away from the keyhole, the movement froze in midair. If she listened hard, low, distant voices could be heard from inside. And their sound was unmistakable.

"One last time, Harm, stop it!" Mac's muffled, laughing protest reached her ear. "I'm convalescent, not in a coma!" Mattie's breath caught in her throat when she realized the voice had to have come from the bedroom area. This would also explain why the rest of the apartment was dark. 

Good God. She hadn't caught them in flagranti, had she...? 

"For the last time, Mac," Harm now echoed her, firmly, but apparently trying to refrain from laughing himself, "They released you into MY care. It's MY duty to make sure you rest. So, as long as you're under MY roof, you're under MY orders. And I order you to stay where you are, tell me what it is you need, and I'll go get it for you. I don't care if that makes you feel dominated or anything. Is that clear?"

Mac's laughter was heard again. "Aye, sir. I give up! For God's sake, go get me some aspirin, sailor."

"There's a good girl."

Mattie slowly let out her breath that she had unconsciously been holding. Okay, it wasn't as bad as it had first seemed. This didn't sound like she had been about to surprise them in a compromising situation. However, something in the tone of their voices tickled her curiosity. Try as she might: she couldn't remember that she had ever witnessed them acting quite as easy with each other as they had right now. And why would Harm have Mac in his bedroom in the first place?

From under the door she could see the lights in the kitchen being switched on. The sound of a glass being taken out of the kitchen cupboard was heard, then the lights went out again. For a few moments, Mattie fought an inward battle - and finally lost to her curiosity. As quietly as possible, she inserted the key, turned it and let herself in. Leaving her shoes and the suitcases at the door, she tiptoed over to the glass brick wall and peeped around the corner, knowing the darkness behind her prevented her form from being seen from the other side. More so as the bedroom itself was cozily lit by a small lamp on the nightstand.

What Mattie first caught sight of made her gasp with shock, although it immediately supplied the answer to the bedroom question. Colonel Mackenzie was lying in Harm's bed, leaned against a whole battery of cushions so she was in a half-seated position, her face badly bruised and swollen as if she'd suffered a considerable accident. Harm, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, was sitting at her bedside - on the bed, actually - with one hand gently holding her head up a little, and with the other helping her drink what looked like a glass of soluble aspirin. But what was most endearing was the good-natured frustration on the colonel's face, showing itself whenever she wanted to take the glass herself but found her way gently blocked by Harm's elbows or his torso getting in the way every single time she tried. Harm answered her frowns with the sweetest condescending smile Mattie had ever seen on his face.

"I can drink by myself, Harm," Mac once more tried to reason with him, although her soft tone of voice didn't really sound like a major objection.

"I know," he answered just as softly, the smirk still evident in his words, "But I don't want you to. This is more fun."

Mattie would have bet ten dollars for Mac to shoot a sharp reply, but her actual reaction made Mattie's jaw drop. "Gotta give you that," Mac said a little dreamily, leaning into his touch and willingly letting herself be administered her medicine. All the while, their gazes were firmly locked - and nothing in Mac's eyes spoke of a silent battle. Mattie couldn't really see Harm's, but somehow she was convinced she wouldn't encounter signs of a mental fight there, either.

A strange feeling of excited joy began to replace the nagging guilt in the pit of Mattie's stomach. Could it be that she was witnessing a Christmas miracle happen here...? Harm actually daring to bring a girl home, be she injured or not? With a slight sting, Mattie became aware that Harm seemed in fact to be moving on, but she ordered herself not to be selfish. She had left him in the first place, hadn't she?

Mattie decided she needed a clear picture of the situation. She took a deep breath and distinctly cleared her throat. 

The two people on the bed gave a start. Mac's head whirled around, her eyes wide, while Harm sprung to his feet like predator. "Who's there?" he called sharply.

Jumping from his tone of voice and needing a moment to recover from her shock, Mattie stepped forward with a sheepish grin and turned on the lights. "Hi, Harm. Sorry if I'm interrupting anything..."

To her inward delight, the two adults immediately showed signs of major embarrassment. Harm walked towards her, clearly concerned. "Mattie - I thought you wanted to spend Christmas with your dad. Everything all right?"

Her cheeks starting to burn, she nodded and made some indefinite movement with her hands that was supposed to set him at ease. "Sure, don't worry. I... uh... I called earlier, to tell you we were in D.C., and I thought if we came here I might just get my stuff. But your machine picked up, and all the lights were out, so I just thought I'd use my key..." It wasn't the exact truth, but pretty close to it, she told herself. 

He frowned. "Why didn't you try my cell phone?"

Caught. "Uh... I did but it was turned off," she tried, praying it could have been true.

"Remember you recharged it," supplied Mac from the bed. "Maybe that's when Mattie tried." Mattie inwardly thanked her on her knees for saving her from having Harm suspect she was deceiving him.

"Right," he admitted distractedly, apparently still trying to regroup. "Ah, is Tom here, too?"

Mattie couldn't help chuckling a little. "Don't worry. Dad's off at the mall for the moment. He'll pick me up here in 25 minutes." Giving him a quick hug, she then walked over to the bed. "God, Mac, you look awful. Sorry I'm being so blunt, but what the heck happened to you?"

Mac gave her a lopsided smile. "I got to know a tree a little too well on the road home two days ago. Could have been a lot worse, I can assure you."

From the way Mac stressed the 'a lot', Mattie got a notion that what she had witnessed earlier might not be the only Christmas miracle she was in for this year. Shuddering slightly, she glanced at Harm whose features had darkened a little. "I'm so sorry," she said in Mac's direction. "How come they let you leave so early?"

"Seems my guardian angel on duty was a capable one," Mac replied. "No broken bones, no internal injuries, just these bruises and a concussion. They released me into Harm's care."

"Why Harm's, of all people?" Mattie couldn't help prompting although she thought she might know the answer.

Mac turned her head, and the look she and Harm exchanged spoke volumes. "He happened to be around and willing," she offered the understatement of the year.

Taken aback by the open display of feelings on their faces, Mattie turned to Harm with a huge grin. "Why, miracles do happen," she declared triumphantly. "You know, two weeks ago I would have sworn to it that chances were less than five percent that you'd ever tell her what you told me. But I have to say I'm proud of you, man."

"Tell me what?" Mac asked, confused.

"Uh, Mattie, maybe..." Harm tried to get a word in edgeways but failed.

Mattie put her hands to her hips, frowning. "Harm, don't tell me you've come this close and you never told her!"

"Told me what?!" Mac repeated pointedly before Harm could answer.

Mattie threw her hands up in the air. "The most obvious of things. You know, a few months ago, I asked him pointblank if he..."

"Hold it, will you?" Harm cut her off, walking over to her, taking her by her shoulders and gently pushing her aside so he could stand close to Mac's bedside. Shaking his head at Mattie with a helpless half-grin/half-frown, he then sat down on the bed, took Mac's right hand in his and locked his gaze with hers. She only swallowed and waited, visibly at a loss.

"Okay," Harm started with a sigh, "I could imagine a far more appropriate situation and setting for this, but I need to shelve that for other occasions. Right now I need to make sure that this damned four-percent thing doesn't get to be a defining factor in our relationship, considering what you told me about your therapy. If Mattie says that the probability of me telling you what I told her back then was less than five percent, I need to make sure that four become 100 this instant. So," he heaved another sigh and let the air out with a soft chuckle. "What I need to tell you is basically this: I love you."

Mac's eyes widened at the admission that, despite all their previous closeness, had apparently come totally out of the blue. "Whoa..." she only made very low, looking at their intertwined hands and trying in vain to fight the smile that was beginning to light up her features.

"Shocking news, huh?" he asked tenderly, causing her to look up again.

"You bet..." Mac was slowly shaking her head in what looked like joyful disbelief. "Well, for the record: I love you, too. And now I might need another aspirin."

"I'll go get it," Mattie cut in happily and hurried out of the room into the kitchen. She dissolved another pill in water, carried the glass back into the bedroom and left again, barely noticed by the two people that were absorbed with each other. Glancing back, the last Mattie saw was Harm shyly leaning in and delivering the gentlest of kisses she had ever seen. 

Blinking away her tears of joy, Mattie quickly grabbed keys, shoes, and suitcases, and left, quietly closing the door behind herself. Right now, the small café next door seemed the best place to wait for her father to turn up. 

For the first time in weeks, Mathilda Grace Johnson didn't feel guilty anymore.



THE END